Homeless

This far away gaze,
This silent whimper,
This furtive thought,
Touches the fingers and turns to vapour.
This ominous fog, my breathe leaves
Blurred words, their lifespan just a blink.
I sit near the window, my home for the moment
The bench across the sea too at another
I carry the gaze, the silence, the unknown thought
To walk along with me, to reside in me
Till i find the next home.

Relentless fluttering, the heart needs to rest
I lie down in the dew.
Running feet over the pond, breaking the stars' glimpse.
I carry the unwashed fingers, along with the morning fragrance
The feet find the gravels
While i find the next home.

I look for a place, until i reach the final home.

Answers?

You don't know if all was spoken,
That all which I held within
Was shared.
You don't know if all was what you saw,
That all which was in front
Was all what had to be seen.
If I hide within the turbulence of a stormy night
Or the calm of a spring morning.
Love for life, love life, life hence love
It is for each to find
Though guides along the path would point the way
It is for each to decide
Will it be search, or
Giving up and rest to follow.
Some thoughts wouldn't see the light
Someone with a yes may not be the answer
Somethings are meant not to be
Distorted perceptions & illusions may not survive.

Nothing is meant to survive, that is the eternal truth.

In a straightjacket

She was scared of things. Scared of people. Scared to talk. Scared when talked too.
She was scared of heights. She was scared to touching anything.
She was jealous of people. Jealous that they seems so not scared.
Not scared of things, of people. Not scared when they talked. Or when somebody talked to them.
Jealous of people who could laugh out loud, without inhibition. Or who did not care of what people thought of them.
She was never the favourite. She was good at her studies but the teachers found the other kid who was charming better than her. She was the eldest child at home but she was supposed to act grown up since was the eldest child.
She was scared of making friends. Jealous of people who could make friends easily.
She was scared of losing friends. Jealous that people could stop caring after a while while she couldn't.
She was scared to love. She was jealous of people without spectacles, without messy hair, without bucktooth, without accumulating fat, with their overflowing talents & mirth, with someone to love them.

She sat in the tub, scratching away fear & jealousy that was in her. She scratched until her skin was red & burning. Until she felt like she was on fire. She wore a clean white gown & stepped out. Faint red marks were peeping from underneath.