Sunday, February 8, 2015


Thats the number of months I've been pregnant for. It has an "about time now I'm tired" feel to it. It is an adventure of finding out all the nooks that can pain. Gym has got nothing on it.
So many things people tell you and so many more that they don't. Current advice being keep moving and walking and walking do you walk its good to walk. I could walk to the other end of them if i could.
Do you know your pelvis is shifting and softening in anticipation and it aches and you can't place a finger on it exactly where is that pain coming from. 
I think twice thrice and double that time if i got to leave the bed. Who is at the door, do I really need to pee, can I not eat, why doesn't everything just fuck off. 
Nights bring their own horrors of dreams, contradictions of wanting to be left alone but also to be held. Exhaustion but no sleep. Weeping and sobbing cuz which side to lie on. 
Few more weeks and finally I can get rid if this wrist ache that has ensured I can't hold a pen for the last 6 months.